Truth Or Dare?
by Raven-Skype
Summary: Ever wondered what the Eragon characters would do in a game of Truth or Dare? Wonder no longer! This is a public fic, meaning that YOU make up the Dares/Truths and I'll write them. Don't trust me? No problem! YOU can write your own dares and send me them!
1. Rules and a serious case of cabin fever

Okay, Here's how this is going to work, YOU (the reviewers of course) get to truth or dare any character from Eragon to do anything you want and _I'll_ write it, therefore taking the blame if the flamers start to get smoky. If you want to write a dare yourself, simply send it to me and I'll post it up for you. It's that easy.

As with any good thing in society these days, this game comes with a long, boring list of rules which I sincerely hated writing.

RULES:

No lemons.

No people who insist on raping the English language (*COUGH* LORIANANNA *COUGH*)

I probably will only write up the best Dares/Truths so don't get mad if yours doesn't appear. (If you think yours is simply 'da bomb' then write it yourself!)

This is a JOKE! Hear that flamers? A GAME!

No Mary-Sues or Gary-Stu's. Unless you're burning them.

I will have a male character and a female character, you lot can decide what they look like, how they act, whether they should have been shot at birth and how they will go about telling the Eragon characters about said dares.

The characters are reset each chapter, e.g., if you kill someone in chapter two they are reincarnated in chapter three.

Feel free to drop suggestions.

No hacking. If you want to say something, make me say it, I'm Puppet.

Nothing racist, sexist or involving the torture of fluffy kittens will be considered.

You are allowed to use the quotes you find in peoples profiles and even the cliché 'Eragon discovers fanfiction' ruse.

I won't use the same writers writing for more than two chapters in a row. No matter how much you bribe me.

Don't bag me out for running out of 'RULES:' when I claimed I would compile a long, boring list of them, It's harder than you'd think when you have a ferret trying to tear your toes off with their teeth.

Don't ask about rule 13.


	2. Porridge, Putdowns and Papercuts

I didn't do any dares this chapter, I'm just kind of introducing Dare herself and insulting Arya beyond the relms of possibility. Thanks to my reviewers, The Thought Catalyst, Lines22, Shadow-KissedKK, InheritanceArtist and MarkedBenjamin. (I didn't actually even consider putting this in a forum, But it's done now, so we may as well just keep it going.) You guys rule.

1

Porridge, Putdowns and Paper-cuts.

"What_ is _it?" asked Arya, who was actually jogging to keep up with the dwarves mildly terrified sprint, she had apparently noticed that he carried a small, hand-sized box and was holding it away from his body like it contained a rabid guinea-pig, which, in case you have not yet had the misfortune of meeting are about as mental as Hitler with a pencil stuck in his arm.

"Elf, if I knew that" Orik replied "Then there obviously wouldn't be any need for me to be hurtling towards Nasuada's tent at the speed of light!"

Arya looked annoyed, "You do know that the 'speed of light' is actually kind of fast, Don't you?"

Orik gave her a withering look and ran without a second glance straight through a band of armed soldiers, coming out with defiantly less bodily hair than he had to begin with.

The guards stationed outside Nasuada's tent gave them grief, as usual, and tried to find even the smallest excuse to inconvenience, incommode and [insert word that starts with 'in' here] the pair as they fought their way through a fabulous array of pikes, swords, and the occasional snarling lump of greying porridge, which usually turned out to be an urgal. Emphasis on the _usually_.

When finally they were permitted under the careful watch of Jormunder to see eye to eye with the queen, the first thing they noticed were the long and significantly deep gashes on her upper arm.

"Oh mi god!" shouted Arya, breaking one of the top ten rules of 'How to be a Mary-Sue' by pushing Orik viciously out of the way to take a look at her wounds, "Did you get mauled by the ferret that was trying to eat Raven's ankles in the 'Rules' chapter?"

Both Orik and Nasuada shared a glance that had the general meaning of "_We-knew-it-would-happen-sometime-and-we-should-take-her-someplace-nice_" before Nasuada turned back to Arya

"Who's Raven?" She asked, with the appropriate level of disturbance. "And what's the rules chapter?"

Arya stared blankly at them for half a second before she realised she'd actually managed to look loopy, which made her look mortal, which also broke just about every regulation in the Mary-Sue bible.

"Huh." She said, "I don't actually know."

They sat in awkward silence for a few seconds, creating enough gay babies to start an orphanage.

"So..." Began Orik.

"So so..." replied Arya

"So so so..." Orik continued

"So so-" Arya was cut off by Nasuada, who shrieked, "God help me, if you say '_so_' _one_ more time I will bloody chop off your testicals!"

"Stress less" muttered Orik.

"_How_ is that possible?" Asked Arya.

"Some things are better left unsaid." Replied Orik.

"Orik, what's in your hand?" Asked Nasuada, making Orik jump and fling the forgotten object across the room,

"!!!" he said

"You can't say !!!" Replied Nasuada

"You just did." Said Arya, Leaving Nasuada at a temporary loss of words.

Arya cautiously walked over to the object on the floor, gradually getting brave enough to tap it with her index finger before jumping back like it was a live grenade caught in a bear trap.

"Oh, just pick it up!" ordered Nasuada, and Arya shot her a "_We'll see whose testicals get chopped off"_ glare.

They discovered, after much prodding and shrieking, that the black thing was actually a box, and inside the box lay a single, shabby green card.

"Well that was a colossal waste of time." Said Arya, and shocking them all the green card flashed, almost in annoyance, and golden letters appeared on its surface.

_Just as you are a colossal waste of two billion years of evolution._ Replied the card as snottily as cards can reply.

"Wow" Said Arya, "_Major_ WFT moment"

"It's WTF, you idiot," replied Nasuada, gently picking up the card, "Now, what's your name?"She asked it.

_Do shabby bits of green paper _often_ have names in your world?_ It countered.

"No" sighed Nasuada, adding brightly "But I'm sure they do in Orik's world!"

"Hey! He grunted angrily.

_Then you may call me Dare._

"Dare? Who would want to be called Dare?" Asked Arya, sending hate to the small bit of paper.

_Hey, it was that or 'Truth' and that sounds way too Zen for anyone to ever actually respect me!_

"You _are_ a piece of paper," Interjected Arya

_Green paper!_ Replied Dare shiftily

"I never thought I'd see this day" said Orik, wiping a mock tear from his eye "Arya has finally been put in her place- and by a piece of paper too!"

_Green_ _Paper._ Dare stated again, although she was defiantly more smug than before.

"I don't understand" Said Nasuada suddenly, "Why are you here? And how come you can talk? Paper doesn't talk"

_Firstly, I'm only here because a little girl named Raven is bored to death, and secondly, being a piece of paper doesn't mean I can't talk anymore than standing in a palace makes me a queen. Savvy?_

Arya's mouth hung open unashamedly for reasons yet to be revealed, even to her.

_You're catching flies, Arya._ The paper informed her, and she clamped her jaws shut hurriedly.

_I suggest you gather anyone of importance and ask not to be disturbed before I tell you why Raven created me. _The paper ordered, _its much more fun when there are plenty of victims._

"Ha!" shouted Arya "_victims_! You intend to hurt us!"

_Arya I really hate to inform you, but as of yet there have been no instances where someone has died from a paper cut and it really would be a shame to break that record._

"I'm with the paper." Stated Orik

"Me too" added Nasuada, and in union they both turned to face Arya.

"Fine," she replied, then stepped reluctantly outside and ordered Jormunder to find Eragon, Saphira, Trianna, Angela, Elva, Solombum, Orin, Roran, Katrina and even invited Jormunder himself.


	3. I HATE PLANTS!

A/N: Merci to MarkedBenjamin, Rainshimmer, Writer of the North, Shadow-KissedKK, fizix13, InuYashaFreak, InheritanceArtist, and katiegirl101199. You lot make this fic!

**MarkedBenjamin: **Cheers!

**Rainshimmer: **You can dare right now! Sure I'll make him marry you, I just gotta introduce him first, and of course I'll continue bagging out Arya, she had it coming to her, anyway.

**Writer of the North: **Isn't it just?

**Shadow-KissedKK: **Hey! That ain't rubbish! Nothing can _ever_ be called rubbish after reading Loriananna's stuff, I quote a song (though it can hardly be named such) in chapter two "_I love you and you love me, I have a gheart and you have a gkey1 we are gona get marr-ied and have a hgish famlily1_" biggest lol of my life! Oh god, cannibalistic guinea pigs, now I've heard of everything, don't blame you for not eating porridge, it feels like someone has already eaten it and spat it back out by the time you get around to chewing it. Thanks for the review mate!

**fizix13: **Course you can bad-mouth those races! Just not skin colour, or earth nationality.

**InuYashaFreak: **I'm glad you think so, can't wait to hear your dares mate!

**InheritanceArtist: **Eh, I try (Lol) I'm so gonna have to use the line 'Awesomely Awesome' somewhere!

**katiegirl101199: **Thanks bud! :)

DISCLAIMER: For gods sake, if I owned the bloody Inheritance Cycle I wouldn't be wasting my time on fanfiction, I'd be taking a cruise in the Bahamas....

NOTE: No offense intended towards vegetarians in this chapter.

---- And let the madness begin!----

2.

I HATE PLANTS!

"Wait- What?, I don't get it." Eragon claimed for what was probably the millionth time that hour, Dare had explained herself and her master Raven, who, as it turned out was actually a fourteen year old 'Australian' girl with the awesome and almost totally useless power to make shabby pieces of green paper speak, have personalities of their own and completely bag out the elves without being turned into an echidna what with all the arrows sticking out of them.

Angela sighed and replied, seeing as she was the only one with any small stretch of patience left. "Orik found a piece of paper-"

_Green Paper!_ Interjected Dare

"Alright, _green_ paper, which some completely random Aussie chick gave the ability to speak, and supposedly if we play a game of 'truth or dare' Raven will teleport herself here through the power of Christmas and completely whip Galbatorix's butt. Savvy?"

"_Man, talk about speeches"_ Solembum stated cynically, "_Did you even breathe during that?_"

Angela smiled and tapped her nose in a most annoying way that would remind any earth born child of a game called 'Charades', the owner of which Raven has decided should have been shot at birth.

"You used Dare's word!" Arya said accusingly, grasping at straws and riding over Solembum, "What does 'savvy' even mean?"

Dare ignored the elf and spoke to Angela instead, _You've been to Earth, haven't you?_

"NO!" Angela screamed in reply

_Then how do you know of the word 'savvy?'_

There was a collective silence a few seconds after Dare's claim in which everyone turned to face Angela and she whistled the world famous 'guilty' tune.

"You didn't" exclaimed Nasuada and Angela did the whole shifty eye thing before pulling out a water pistol from somewhere in her coat (Who knows what kind of things she keeps in there) and promptly sprayed the piece of paper within a near inch of its life.

_Argh. I'm melting._ Dare said sarcastically, _For god's sake Angela, I'm not the wicked witch of the west!_

Angela grumbled something unintelligible before sitting down again and putting the super soaker back inside her shirt.

There was a great red flash in which made everyone within a three metre radius (Which was everyone) topple off their chairs in surprise, and suddenly there appeared a red scrap of paper nearly identical to Dare on the table where said paper resided, and in black letters appeared the words,

_Hi Dare! Raven decided that since you were doing so badly that she'd send me in to help!_

Dare then proceeded to recite every swearword, curse and profanity she could think of to the point where poor, innocent Eragon's eyeballs promptly fell out of his head.

_Truth! I told you! I told Raven! That girl is gonna die! You were meant to stay back you piece of-_

"Truth?" asked Katrina, "You mean this is-"

_Yeah!_ Said Truth, not waiting for her to finish her sentence, _I'm Truth and she's Dare, Truth or Dare? Get it?_

Dare would have rolled her eyes if she had any, but settled for the regurgitation of another hundred swearwords, this time in French.

Nasuada stood up suddenly, "Look, I know this is stupid,-"

_Merde!_ Dare interrupted.

"-but I think we should play, Cos' if there's even the slightest chance that this Raven person can defeat Galbatorix's then I'm going to take it, who's with me?"

"I'm in" stated Angela

"_Me too_" added Solembum

"Me three" decided Jormundur

"Me four!" said Orin

"Me five" agreed Elva

"Me six" sighed Arya

"Me seven!" shouted Roran

"_Me eight_" Roared Saphira, and they all turned to face the only person who had not yet declared teir agreeance,

Eragon frowned "I can't count that high," he said "But I'm in too!"

_Right then!_ Exclaimed Dare, who would be rubbing her hands together in glee if she had any, _who wants to go first?_

Everyone in the room skittered back and turned pale at exactly the same time, except for Arya, who had somehow managed to miss the group decision and stood there like an idiot while a long line of Mary-Sue's turned in their graves.

"Well damn." She stated, and backed away slowly.

_Thank you for volunteering Arya!_ Said Truth,

_Now, what will you choose?_ Asked Dare

_Truth?_ Questioned Truth

_Or Dare?_ Asked Dare.

Arya looked back and forth, as though looking for a way to get out of the current situation, fixing her rather accusing glare on Eragon, but when help was not forthcoming and everyone looked down to hide their grins and twiddled their fingers Arya decided to regain some Mary-Sue honour, and stated "Dare." Proudly,

At first Dare was surprised at being chosen, but then remembered that Arya came from the land of the Sues and decided to get on with the game.

_Right then! _She said, _I dare you to eat meat!_

Arya looked appalled, "But that's against every single Elvin rule that ever was!" she shrieked,

_Oh come on Arya! If we're not meant to eat animals, how come their made of meat?_

"I-I _won't_!" she shouted, and much to everyone in the rooms surprise Nasuada argued alongside Dare,

"What's so bad about it? I mean, come on, you have to have tasted meat at some point!"She declared

"NO! I _Haven't_! And none of you should have tasted it either!" Arya replied frantically

"Hey," Said Angela, somewhat defensively, "I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian!"

Truth seemed taken aback that most everyone (Save for Eragon) was agreeing with Dare's dare, because to be totally, bluntly honest, Dare usually went a fair bit overboard on the first dare, and she was surprised that they (With the obvious exception) seemed to be taking it so well,

"But seriously" inputted Orin, "The animals would kill you if they had the chance! Why do you love them so much?"

"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals!" Arya practically screamed, her eyes wild, "I'm a vegetarian because I HATE PLANTS!"

There was a great silence for a second straight after Arya's 'confession' which Elva promptly broke by bursting into a slightly scary bout of laughter which had Eragon hiding under a chair and Nasuada wondering whether a rat being hit with a tennis racket could possibly make a worse noise.

Truth and Dare were laughing as well as they were able, which consisted of having the repeated words 'Ha ha ha' flash across them repeatedly along with the occasional 'lol'.

Arya, (who was still very much red in the face) tried to sit down, only to have angela and Orin hold her back.

"What?" she snapped unhappily, crossing her arms with contempt,

"Don't you _dare_-" Angela paused and faced Dare "Sorry, no pun intended, Don't you _dare _even _think_ that you've wormed your way out of this one! You still have to chomp down bambi yet!"

Dare stopped chortling at once and faced Arya,

_That you do, Missus Sue._

_**An hour later...**_

"!#%&" Said Orin

_Biase! _Added truth, who had, like Dare, used up all the swearwords in the English dictionary and had now resorted to French.

"Just do it you piece of [insert swearword of choice] " intoned Elva

"Elva!" exclaimed Angela, "Where did you learn that kind of language?"

"Well it's not really all that bloody difficult, is it?" she replied angrily, "What with Truth and Dare going off their rockets and all"

Angela seemed at a loss of words and turned to Dare for what we can only presume was advice.

Dare tried to sigh, but had no bodily functions to do so and settled for writing _*sigh*_, then continuing to solve the problem at hand.

_Alright Arya, here's the deal, since you totally and completely reject the idea of horking down thumper, I'm going to give you another dare. _Wrote Dare, who was the first person in half an hour to speak so much as a sentence without swearing.

_Oh no_ Said Truth, _Arya, I may not be the wisest thing on the planet, but I happen to know that the dare Dare is about to give you will be a thousand times worse than the last one. I'd eat the meat if I was you._

"Well you aren't me are you?" Arya snapped, who seemed to be a tad more irritable as of late, perhaps because the Sue council decided to take away her membership badge, or because a scrap of ratty green paper was trying to con her into breaking one of the elves oldest and noblest traditions.

She took a look around the room at her fellow players, and flinched at the steam emitting from each of their ears.

"alright" she relented reluctantly, "I accept, what's my new dare?"

Dare tried to grin evilly and failed epically because of the simple fact that she did not possess a face.

_Right then! I dare you to......._

A/N: Oh god I did a cliffhanger! Argh! Soz brud, I couldn't help it. If you don't click that ruddy green button right now and review this story ain't goin nowhere, I need YOUR dares, and I'd prefer that I got them now.


	4. WARNING: CONTAINS LETTERS!

A/N: Again, many thanks to my awesome reviewers for the last chapter, including MarkedBenjamin, Writer of the North, AryaandEragon1, InheritanceArtist, Shadowed breath, Legolas Thranduilion, Rainshimmer, and Aussie Surfer, go on, have a free virtual cookie! Their on the house!

**MarkedBenjamin:** I second that.

**Writer of the North: **Great, yeah, that's a really popular one ; )

**AryaandEragon1: **Lol, someone's getting eager!

**InheritanceArtist: **Yeah mate, I feel your pain, But I really didn't think that Arya would actually _do_ that, and I thought I better play it safe, hope you aren't offended by all the vego cracks in the last chapter, I couldn't resist, I actually don't remember Brom teaching Eragon to count, reading, sure. But no numerals... thanks for sticking with me this long!

**Shadowed breath: **Thank you *Takes a bow* I do try

**Legolas Thranduilion:** I had hell trying to spell your name mate! Lol, each to their own

**Rainshimmer: **Heyyy, those are actually pretty good, I like the whole 'Arya pays for the shrink' concept, but she's gonna need a heck of a lot of money! I'm gonna introduce Murtagh and Galbatorix and all the other emo cave dwellers next chapter.... MWAH HA HA!

**Aussie Surfer: **Yay! An Aussie! Did you go to the big day out? I swear, best mosh pit ever when the heavy metals were playing, I got punched in the eye and couldn't see for like, a day, but it was still totally radical! (Glad you like my quotes!)

**DISCLAIMER:**

For god's sake, if I owned the bloody Inheritance Cycle I wouldn't be wasting my time on fanfiction, I'd be taking a cruise in Tahiti....

_----And let the madness begin!----_

3.

!!!WARNING: CONTAINS LETTERS!!!

_...Kiss Eragon for a minute straight!_ Dare announced, and Arya managed to become even paler than she was normally at her request.

"W-what?" She stuttered, glancing at Eragon, who was currently in a mild state of shock.

_Told you._ Truth stated smugly.

Arya opened her mouth to spew out profanities but was interrupted by Angela, who looked pointedly at the slab of meat in her right hand and muttered something on the lines of, 'Poor Bambi...'

Arya looked back and forth between the meat and her would-be lover and made her decision.

"Oh, for the love of god..." she sighed, stalked across the room and quickly captured Eragon's lips with her own.

"Holy #%&^" said Orin.

"My eyes! My eyes!" Screamed Katrina, whose skin had begun to melt off her face.

Nasuada repeatedly bashed her head against the floor, Orin gouged his eyes out with a wooden spoon and Saphira gradually lost the will to live while Roran threw up, Elva keeled over and died and Jormundur promptly fainted.

Angela and Solembum seemed to be the only ones not affected by the scene.

"This is interesting" stated Angela, "I didn't think Dare said anything about tongue"

"_Yeah" _replied Solembum, "_It looks like she's trying to eat his face"_

They continued to watch the dare stoically until every single person in the room had either stabbed themselves, knocked themselves out, fainted, or regurgitated lunch into the waste paper bin.

_Angela? _Asked Dare, who was eyeing Eragon and Arya curiously, _is there a relationship going on here that I don't know about?_

Angela winced and looked at the still making out couple, "Well, Arya was being a little frigid till now, but they've done about five times as much kissing as you dared them for, so I'd say their probably together now."

_I feel your pain, Angela._

She laughed happily, "At least I didn't kill myself."

_Yet._ Dare replied somewhat pessimistically. _Who _is_ on the casualties list?_

Angela took a quick scan of the room, "Well, Orik used Truth to decapitate himself, therefore breaking the 'No-one has yet died of a paper-cut' rule in chapter three, Roran's head exploded, Elva's keeled over, and Nasuada spontaneously combusted. Did I miss anyone?"

"_Don't think so" _Saphira said cynically, "_Can you please separate my rider and the elf for me? I really want to keep this PG_."

"Sure" Angela replied, and proceeded to spray everyone in the room (including the dead people) with her handy supersoaker.

Once the living people were again arranged in a circle on the floor (With Arya and Eragon holding hands) and all the blood was washed out of Truth they decided to continue with the game.

_Who's next in line?_ Asked Truth,

_Eragon._ Dare answered, turning to him,

_Truth or Dare?_ Asked Truth, and everyone saw how Eragon looked at Arya as though he wanted to impress her and prove once and for all that he wasn't just a no-good farm boy hick from Carvahall, and everyone guessed his answer before it came out of his mouth.

"Dare" he answered cockily, squeezing Arya's hand gently.

Dare was almost on fire with evil happiness, and requested that she tell Eragon his dare in private.

The rest of the players waited in silence in the hopes of hearing anything that may give them a pointer as to what his dare would be, Orin even pressed his ear against the thin fabric of the pavilion, and therefore ruptured his eardrum when Eragon uttered the single loudest sound anyone had ever heard, in fact, His screams of "NO!" could probably be heard all the way on the other side of camp.

_**Later....**_

"Arya!" Eragon screamed at her as the sun set behind his tent, "The sue council is considering giving back your badge!"

"Oh! Mi! God!" shouted Arya to nobody in particular, doing a perfect imitation of a valley girl presented with a pair of high heels. "Where are they?"

"On the other side of camp!" Eragon panted, and Arya was gone before he could blink.

Eragon looked around guiltily to make sure no-one was watching before heading off to find Katrina's tent....

_**Even Later...**_

Arya ran as fast as she could to the direction in which Eragon had previously pointed, only to find a bare stretch of land and not even the smallest trace of Mary-sue for miles, thinking Eragon had accidentally pointed the wrong way, she hurried back to where she left him, but he was gone too.

'I smell a rat' she muttered, not meaning it in a literal sense until she stepped right on top of a snowy white mouse "Jesus Christ!" she swore, and there is no way to explain the racket the rodent made, but it is safe to say that whoever coined the phrase 'quiet as a mouse' has obviously never stepped on one.

She asked around, but not even a single person in camp seemed to be able to tell her where he was, but then again, Dare isn't really classified as a person, is she?

When the question was put to her she replied with _Oh, I think I saw him walking into Katrina's tent, he was acting strangely too, kept looking around to see if anyone was following him..._ in what Arya could only imagine was a casual tone.

Fearing the worst she took off at a sprint, stopping just within earshot of the going ons within the crimson pavilion.

"_Oh Katrina..."_

"_Oh Eragon!"_

Her mouth dropped wide open as she listened to the, err, _passionate_ moans coming from the tent and she gradually pieced together what was happening.

[The next five paragraphs have been deleted due to the fact that while writing it I did a Saphira and gradually lost the will to live.]

Let's just say that Arya ran away crying in a very un Mary-Sue like way.

_**Katrina and Eragon....**_

Eragon and Katrina could not possibly have done what Arya thought they had done, as at the exact time Arya was gaping at the sounds inside the tent, Eragon and Katrina were in a completely random Starbucks coffee shop drinking frappachino's.

Well, Eragon was, Katrina, however, was balling her eyes out over her very recently deceased husband.

"There, There..." said Eragon, awkwardly patting the redhead on the back with as much comfort as he could muster.

"He- *sob* his head just... it just *sob* exploded! I got part of his brain in my *sob* eye!" sobbed Katrina, blowing her nose pitifully on what she thought was her sleeve, but was actually Eragon's.

"I think I *sob* need some time alone *sob* Eragon..." Katrina began, but was interrupted swiftly,

"NO!" shouted Eragon, scaring Katrina's tears away, "I mean," he said, quietly now, "Don't you want to stay for a...bit?"

"No, I don't Eragon. I need to grieve." She snapped, then stood up swiftly and exited the random Starbucks with Eragon flapping after her.

"Err, I'll just... walk you to your tent then, shall I?" He half asked, "Are you sure you don't want a frappachino?"

She glared at him and walked a bit faster.

They were halfway to her tent when Arya literally ran into them, balling her bloody eyes out, "Sorry" she mumbled, then, "Eragon! But you were in the tent!"

"No he wasn't." Said Katrina unhappily, "He was drinking coffee with me."

"Acutally it was a frappachino" Eragon corrected.

"Wait, this doesn't make any sense" Arya said, her eyebrows raised and the tears temporally at a cessation, "I just heard you and Katrina making love in her tent."

Katrina snagged the wineskin of a passing guard and filled her mouth with alcohol before spraying it all over them for dramatic effect.

Eragon wiped the wine from his eyes, "I think you missed the moment, Katrina," he said, a slight edge of anger in his tone.

"So you didn't...." Arya trailed off, fixing her glare on Katrina.

"No! How retarded are you? I'm not a whore! My husband just _died,_ thank you very much!" Katrina shrieked, stamping her foot angrily, Arya was about to retort, but the words died in her throat as a new scene unfolded around her.

A roar from Saphira was the only warning Eragon had before two huge dragons leapt out from behind a hill, one red and one black,

"IT'S GALBATORIX AND HIS ANGSTY TEENAGE SIDEKICK!!!" screamed about twenty people at once, including Arya and Eragon.

King Galbatorix opened his mouth to spout what Eragon presumed would be a fearsome battle cry, so you can imagine how surprised he was when he instead shouted,

"YOU JUST GOT PUNKED, GIRLFRIEND!!!"

A/N: last line is dedicated to Rainshimmer, sorry I didn't use it in quite the way you had in plan.....


End file.
